Do you know how to really Listen?

February 14, 2013 at 6:06 am (hOt mama, life) (, )

Few weeks ago, I bumped into my friends in a coffee shop and decide to hang out for a while. What’s interesting that I have noticed about my friend’s husband is that when other people talk, he listens to people with full attention and whole heartedly. It makes the one who tells the story feel appreciated and it really feel nice when people are really interested in listening to what you have to say.

When someone talk and you don’t pay attention or just ignores them, it makes them feel unimportant and it will hurt their feelings. When a person decided to tell you something, you have to appreciate that they choose you to be their listener. It means that they trusted you enough to share their stories/problems/concerns/happiness with you. Be grateful that you are that special person. People do not ask much. Sometimes you don’t even have to give your advice or comments. All they want is some attention and empathy from the you at that point of time.

I have always considered myself a good listener but I admit sometimes I do tend to tune out when I know that person is the type of person who talks endlessly and described every detail of the story which does not interest me. But I am trying to improve to be a better listener for the people I love especially my daughter.

The more you listen, the more you understand the person.

How to be a better listener:

1. Put away your phone/laptop when having conversation (yea I know it is really hard but do it anyway!) But if it is really important, pardon yourself for a while and then settle it and continues your conversation with the person. Unless it is your children, then prioritize them all the time 😛

2. Make warm eye contact with the person

3. Give feedback once in a while (not just standing there like a pole throughout the conversation) :P…

4. ..But do not interrupt at every single sentence of the person. You might get bitch slapped 😛

5. Learn the art of empathy – empathy means “the ability to project one’s personality into another person and more fully understand that person”

6. Do not judge the person when they share their worries/concerns/problems with you. Comments and feedback is ok but do not judge them

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