A lot of things going on

July 28, 2016 at 3:35 pm (hOt mama, life, work) (, , , , , )

I am tired..maybe it’s because of being pregnant at this age..or maybe it’s work stress..maybe it’s just my life

I am emotionally and physically drained at work but I tried very hard not to show it. I feel like I am carrying a lot of “unseen” responsibilities currently and need to sort it out before I go off for maternity. So I need to toughen it up and pull it together..at least until I go off for the long leave

Physically
I am going to be 35 years old in 2 months..I think age is catching up really fast and I can really feel it during pregnancy

  • My feet hurts ..my pelvic kinda hurts on and off..even though people say my tummy is relatively still small for 6 1/2 months..Can’t imagine how I am going to walk around when I am 8-9 months.
  • I often are short of breath now and then, not sure why.. (i gave up googling for symptoms because it always shows result telling me I am dying because of critical illness)
  • I am easily tired.. (not sleepy) but fatigue..kinda hard because I really need try to fight these symptoms off when I am in the office.
  • Body ache.. Gosh I feel like 100 years old every morning when I need to wake up

Emotionally
I think I have passed the stage of pissing off with everyone and everything 😛 Now I think I am more sensitive/sad instead of getting mad

  • Work – I am not sure whether I am supposed to feel this or is it because I am pregnant..(can’t really tell the difference nowadays).. I am sad because I am contributing the best I can with the skills and effort that I have, and somehow it is not appreciated or supported. And somehow the decisions or the directions they have made, it has been proven that it doesn’t work and yet, the effort and support are still channelled there. It comes up to a point that I think, if I am not really needed or if my functions is not important, why have this function or even me here at all.
  • Pregnancy – Not feeling really good about my body (refer to above on the physical part), but I think my partner has done really good job taking care of my emotions regarding this. But there are people that is really….”mintak penampar” with their comments.
    • Looks at my baby bump and laugh. Not sure what is so funny about it? If you are happy, that is different. I can clearly see that you are laughing at my tummy. What is wrong with you? never seen a pregnant lady before? And hey, when you are fat, have I ever once…make fun of you? NO…because I am not that shallow. And …people just dont laugh at tummy of a pregnant woman..you are just lucky that I did not just bitch slap you right there. Look mister.. (yes, only men can be this stupid / shallow) I may be having large tummy now but there is a beautiful baby growing inside me.. what’s your excuse?
  • Looking around see men/sometimes women that just not even covering their shallowness. They would be proud taking pictures with so many people of their of opposite sex. The more “gedik” the better. They would be following only sexy/beautiful/ hot opposite sex at their social media and liking their pictures religiously.. ouh god..puhlease laa weh.. (I am aware that maybe I am being over emotional due to the people who laughed at my tummy at my previous point)..

My goals after giving birth is..now that I realize that age is catching up with me..and I only have this body to live with the rest of my life, I should be taking better care of it. (also, need to get into shape again..so that I can show to the one who laugh at me.. if he is not aware..it is normal to have a tummy when you are pregnant (duhhh) and you can get back to shape after the baby is born.. (did it once..i can do it again) so dont be an ass and ever laugh at another pregnant women again about her tummy or weight.

Gonna get some Zs now.. good night all.

 

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Self ranting..err.. I mean..therapy..

May 26, 2013 at 11:00 am (life) (, , )

ok..here’s the deal…there are so much thing going on in my head. I need to let it out and rant it somewhere.. Not sure whether this situation is my mind (take note..this is not my brain..only my mind) is just working overtime and being super productive with thoughts about everything under the sun or I am changing to be the person who is not satisfied and complaining about everything.. (god ..i hope not)..

  • I am in the process of trying to be a better person (and doing more research about it) because when I do it, I want it to be whole hearted and not half hearted like most of the people i see just for the sake of trend.
  • Haven’t told anyone about this but it is sometimes frustrating because I don’t get the support and the guidance from those that suppose to give it to me.
  • My data plan is f**king slow these days.
  • I need direction .. do not take for granted of your title..it comes with responsibility.
  • Hate it when people ignore me or listen to me half heartedly. If you are not interested with my topics, just say so so that I can shut up or change topic and find someone else who will listen to me.
  • Sometimes I hate it the fact that I can (yes..it is CAN) survive alone..which is kinda scary because being this independent..people will take you for granted
  • I hate when 2 lovebirds is communicating in social media..with each other…. +_+ Come on guys.. you live with each other. For the love of god just talk face to face.
  • Stop pestering me about having another baby. Kalau ada..ada la..kalau takde..maybe ada hikmahnya.
  • I am tired of seeing girls nowadays walking around like plastic..Do you know what I mean? all fake. Those heavy make ups, colored or large contact lense, fake eyelashes,push up bras and god knows what else is fake. I am imagining, if you remove everything that is fake and just be yourself, I think your boyfriend/partner won’t even recognize you (not sure for the better or worst) 😛 It is good to see girls who’s confident in her own body and skin sometimes 🙂
  • It sucks when people will ignore you or give you less attention when someone with higher priority comes along.
  • I want to eat the delicious Chili’s chicken for ages..But nobody wanna go with me.. +_+
  • I need to go on a holiday for goodness sake!!! It’s been long overdue..
  • I need to get in touch with my spontaneous side again.. I think I am becoming more and more serious and by the book…which translates to …BORING…

…I think that is all for now..**blank** i think it’s working…..**blank***

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Feeling the need to cOmplaint..

January 12, 2011 at 8:30 am (life, work) (, , , , , , , )

  • I have panda eyes almost all of the time
  • My hair is a mess
  • Half of my clothes are in Subang Jaya house and i can’t go in the house for the next 3 months
  • I lost my cat in the process of migrating from Subang to Kajang
  • I am currently running my unit alone almost all of the time and my big project is starting soon
  • My life during commuting from home to work and vice versa is now coloured with traffic jam
  • I think I’m putting on weight (damn you biscuit panda!!)
  • I am getting old..(turning 30 this year) and it doesn’t help more and more people starting to call me ‘kak’ at the office
  • I think my laughter is getting freakier?uglier?louder? by the day 😛
  • ..I got this feeling that I am destined to do something great in my life..by I don’t know what.. (macam cerita superhero tak? ) whatever it is..please let it involve a lot of money…hahahaha
  • Just notice that my inbox has 887 new email..gawd…
  • I need to make appointment with Hammam..pronto!!

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